Bird Brain For A Reason
by Walkawhale
Summary: Like one of those overdramatic romance novels, he lost his memories. He was falling for another, and her only 'sidekick' wasn't at all supportive..
1. Chapter 1

Just another scene I've been having in my head. I'm hoping it's going to be lighter than my first fan fiction.  
I just love Raven so much.

I don't own the Teen Titans.

.

.

.

01.

Robin was experiencing one of the worst headaches he's ever had.  
It rivaled the time he was tracking Slade down when he barely slept, rarely ate, digesting almost nothing but strong black coffee to keep him awake.  
He groaned feeling irritated, hoping that the pain would fade out.

Of course, it didn't.

Grumbling, he got out of bed. It was still dark outside, but he knew he wouldn't be able to sleep anymore. He might as well get out and fix himself some coffee.

He noticed something about the Tower didn't seem quite the same. He couldn't put a finger on it though, because it _looked_ the same. But something felt rather out of place, something about the way it seems.. and when since the kitchen table was this low? He had to slouch a little while filling the kettle with water.

It was when the water started to boil when he heard someone approaching. He knew it was Raven. He always did.  
He knew it from the dark cool aura, the silent footsteps, and especially after they created a bond (rather accidentally), he was able to feel her presence more clearly. He could even start to pick up some signals of her emotions as well. They were always faint, maximum a 3 on a scale of 10, but that's how he started to truly understand her. For a few weeks, he thought that Raven didn't know about the bond, but now he's pretty sure that she's just pretending not to notice.

She was coming near, but he couldn't turn around to say hello. Something about the bond was so strange that he was in awe, and for a moment he even forgot to move. The warmth was filling up from his insides, and deep affection flowed into him. He could feel the security radiating, and all of it came from none other than Raven. It was.. her emotions. An 8 on a scale of 10.

How is the Tower still in a whole piece yet?

That's when her arms wrapped around his torso.

"You're okay," her groggy voice greeted her. She probably just woke up, half-asleep. Her low raspy voice sounded more like a deep purr, and he wasn't used to that.

"..Raven?" Was all he managed to say.

"Mmhmm," she hummed. He could feel the vibration across his back. So many feelings were there, warming him up, caressing his heart and soul. He could feel her, her small body leaning against his, the small sigh tickling him, sending chills up from his spine to his neck immediately. She was holding him as if it were the safest place in the world.

"Uhm.. Raven..? Are you.. alright?"

Her body shook slightly at that. He was so confused. For a second he thought she might be crying, but he felt tingling senses through the bond.

_She was laughing._

That was the quietest laugh he has ever heard. But it was roaring inside of him pleasantly like a fire made in a cold old house and his emotions seemed to vibe with hers.

Everything was just bizarre. It wasn't right. It didn't make any sense. Did he wake up to a parallel universe?

Raven must've felt his confusion, for her laughter died and he started to feel her concern.

"Richard?"

_Richard?_ Did she just call him by his real name?

Her hands pulled his arm around so he could face her. He could vividly see her eyes widening and he wasn't sure who was more shocked to see the other.

She was older.

It wasn't the Raven he knew. The person in front of him was.. a woman. Someone who has entered her adulthood, her figure and curves standing out noticeably. There was a deeper understanding in her eyes, and it looked so damn _free_.

"Richard? What's going on?"

He couldn't really understand why she would so shocked, but he felt terribly bad.


	2. Chapter 2

02.

"Okay, lemme get this straight. So you don't remember Cinderblock smashing you in the head?"

Beastboy was gawking in shock, and he looked at the others as if he was expecting a very late 'April fools!' They could see that Robin -or Nightwing, as he insisted them to call him now- felt insulted, and the way his face showed emotions reminded them of when he was just Robin.

"Calm down. Nothing serious happened. You got a blow in the head, but you seemed perfectly fine. I mean, you walked 'n talked 'n all. We checked you up, got you fixed and patched up. You should've been fine after a night's sleep."

Cyborg was checking him up (yet again) to see if he had any brain damages. The fight was intense, and they had to admit, Jump City's villains were getting more brutal over these years. Cinderblock managed to crack Nightwing's head open, but even after that, he acted as if nothing happened. He even exchanged a few jokes with Beastboy on their way home, and the injury was immediately treated. But the young Nightwing didn't wake up for 2 days. Starfire almost got sick worrying, checking in on him every hour even though Cyborg told her that he'll be perfectly fine. Even Raven wasn't able to stay calm as the Tower shook weakly once a while.

"It says you're perfectly in health.. Yo, Rae. Can you do that soul thing and check if he's okay?"

Raven took a step forward. She was standing in the corner of the room silently with her hood up until now. Robin wasn't sure why, but something about her presence made him feel nervous.

She put both her hands on his, and still they couldn't cover all his hands. It felt so strange. He was very sure the last time they were facing each other, he was looking at her on the same eye level.

Raven's soul entered his body, and the bond was -for the lack of better words to describe this- _opened_. It was like a heavily shut door finally opening. Or like a very heavy weight finally getting lifted. Having his body sink into a warm bath. There she was, _her soul,_ gently cooing and embracing him. Something about it was so loving, caring and even sexual - He yanked his hands away in surprise. Raven's magic broke away. She opened her eyes slowly, looking more than concerned at his rejection.

She looked slightly hurt.

"Rae? Is he okay?"

"Friend Robin!"

That's when the door opened (rather violently) and Starfire rushed in. She grabbed his face and took a good look at him. Seeing a grown Starfire, Robin tried to turn his face away even though he knew she wouldn't notice him blush. He always had a silent unnoticed crush on her. She was even more radiant now, almost shining like the sun.

"Oh how worried I was! What a glorious sight to see you up again!"

She bombarded him with dozens of questions, mainly summed up into 'Is everything okay?' She was now looking at Cyborg's chart and records, demanding an explanation. Robin held back a smile. He was sure that she wouldn't be able to understand what Cyborg has to say on his condition, but she was so determined to hear that he was okay. He looked up and met eyes immediately with Raven. She must've been watching him. She looked odd.

Everything that was there was gone, her empty eyes looking like a pair of violet quartzes. Without her emotions flowing, she looked almost exactly like the young Raven he remembered. Indifferent, distant, cautious on the outside. So was the bond. Closed, shut away and faint.

Even when something came back to 'normal' - just the way he used to know - Robin couldn't help feeling unreasonably guilty.

She walked out the door. He hesitated, but Cyborg insisted to check him up just one more time. So he stayed behind.


	3. Chapter 3

03.

Raven was sure she wasn't dreaming. Because if this were a dream, there would be hellfire surrounding her. Burning every single thing alive.

Even the person behind her.

"We have a bond, remember?"

Her heart sank at those words. Strange. The first time she heard him acknowledge the bond, she was more hopeful than she was now. And she was facing the end of the world. They went through it, and here they were. Everyone safe and alive.

A few days passed, and she avoided her leader as much as possible. She became better at hiding her emotions again. It reminded her of when she had to meditate every single day to suppress her emotions to control her power. She rarely said a word, and when it was inevitable, she kept her conversations to a minimum. Not happy with that, Richard caught up with her when she was leaving the common room.

She slowly turned around, facing the one person who went through Hell just to help her. The one person who called her hopeful, even when she thought everything was over. Funny how life can get.

"Raven, I may not remember what happened.. But I'm still the same person. I'm Robin."

Her jaws tensed, but she didn't say anything. Memories surged up again, trying to engulf her. Raven fought hard to keep her emotions in place.

"It's just that.. It feels so strange. Not being able to remember anything. And now everyone's suddenly older.."

His confusion and anxiety waved over her and she thought it was a miracle that she hasn't brought the whole building down yet. Numbly commenting to herself that Cyborg would be enraged if that was ever to happen (He just upgraded the security system this morning) she gave out a long sigh. Perhaps hanging out with Starfire and Beastboy lately helped her to be more in control. Maybe she ought to go out to the mall more often.

"I need to know that I still have my best friend.. next to me."

She stared at him. He looked so lost. Someone in her head nudged her, telling her that she should probably say something.

But what?

I know you don't remember, but I happened to be your lover for the past few months?

You managed to give me surprise kisses without getting caught by the others?

I finally asked you out on a proper date after weeks of practice, but still yet haven't got an answer back because of that stupid accident?

Oh that stupid accident. She gave a long heavy sigh.

"So do I."

She guessed that lying would be better for now. Just until he recovers.

"I'll be back to normal once the day of my birth passes."

She looked at him, knowing that she wouldn't have to explain that she still had nightmares around this period of the year. He already knew it. He even suggested they spend the night together -

but he looked clueless. That innocent look brought her back again to that day they first discussed the bond.

_He doesn't remember._

So that stupid accident erased _years_ of his memories?

_He doesn't remember anything about my birthday._

The realization finally hit her, all the feelings she left at the back of her darkness started to creep out.

_He doesn't remember falling in love with me._

She felt an impulsive urge raging out, telling her to go rip Cinderblock into pieces. Into ashes.

_It would be easy_, purred her rage.

"I need to go.. and meditate."

Of course, that was a lie.


	4. Chapter 4

04.

Red X came home to see that someone was waiting for him.

There was always a sign, like how it smelled like lavenders and hot tea in the empty cold space, but he was never actually mentally prepared to see her. Honestly, the dark witch was actually turning into his nightmares, and so he couldn't help but tense up as the familiar scent filled his tiny flat.

"Seriously Sunshine, if it's about that tiny bank robbery, I have nothing to do-"

He stepped back as her glare met his eyes. It came to him that he never saw Raven angry before. Even during all those years of brilliantly keeping out of their hands, making fun of them, she never once showed much emotions. But today it seemed that it was nothing _but_ emotions and it rather gave him chills down at the back of his neck. The angry eyes seemed to shine red under her cloak.

"Where is Cinderblock?"

Even her voice sounded different today. It was more menacing, almost scratchy in a way. Red X frowned. She never came to ask him about B-rated supervillains.

"The boulder guy? Haven't seen him in a while. The last I've heard of him was that he cracked Bird boy's…."

Red X was a smart guy. He knew when to shut his mouth, especially if his life depended on it. He saw her eyes gleaming, and he stopped. Instead, he went to the kitchen.

Who would have known? The infamous Red X, brilliant genius mastermind of crime, bought tea and was now boiling hot water to fix a cup of tea for a mad Titan. Fucking tea. He muttered under his breath that she was a witch (who he secretly thought would be better off as a villain). He could bet his neighbor's cat on it: She would conquer the world in mere _days_. He added a little sugar in it although that's not the way she normally takes her tea, but she looked like she needed it. Then he held it out to her.

She received it and held it for a while. It looked like she was trying to do some quick first-aid meditation. He remained quiet. He was ready to click the teleport button just in case anything happens.

The first time Raven intruded into his place, he thought his days were over. He had to admit that he underestimated the mage, just how he underestimated her whole team. It was more than a shock to come home to see her waiting for him, as if she knew where he lived all along. That was the day when he jokingly haunted Bird brain a little too far - He enjoyed every single part of crushing his pride, his heart almost swelled. But it didn't last long when he was greeted by her in the kitchen; In fact, she was looking for tea in his house.

'_..Not even a single tea bag. Might as well stack some in your empty shelves, X.'_

He was at least proud to say he played cool, acting as if he were only merely surprised at her comment.

'_Sounds like you'll be coming here to see me again, sweetheart.'_

'_That depends on your tongue.'_

She smiled and melted into the shadows. It took him a little longer than what it usually would take to realize that she was here to warn him, but it took a couple of more visits to figure that it was because of Captain birdie.

He heard a murmur from the witch, whose head was now drooping down. Red X's sharp instinct told him that he should run. His brain, however, didn't see a logical reason to. His voice came out as a whisper.

"Sunshine?"

"I'm going to kill Cinderblock," she growled.

Red X froze.

She was crying.


	5. Chapter 5

05.

"He's heading to the roof! Raven, Starfire!"

The two didn't need further instruction, they flew up immediately to chase the thief. Robin (who stopped insisting on calling him Nightwing for now) was more obsessed with unmasking the guy than throwing him in jail.

"You shall not run away this time!"

Starfire rushed after the shadow that just teleported onto the roof of a building several blocks away. She accelerated with a blast of speed which Raven's levitation couldn't follow.

"Starfire!"

Raven shouted, but she was already out of reach. Raven clenched her teeth, unable to follow. She was standing in a red pool of strange liquid which grounded her. A shadow started to approach her. She faced him with a half scowl.

"Illusions? What a cute _trick_."  
"Aww, I knew you thought I'm cute."

Red X chuckled, but Raven just raised an eyebrow.

"Fancy to see you robbing jewelry, X. A gift for your girlfriend?"

The Titans knew that he never involved himself in 'boring and lame' crimes(quoting X). It was very unlike him to break in for a mere necklace. Expensive it was, but it wasn't that it held any value or fame.

There was no answer, but Raven could feel that he was taken aback. She frowned at his light confusion as if he wasn't sure what to come back at her with. Red X being speechless? That was something she could live with. She actually smiled.

"How adorable. You have such a great taste in accessories, she's so lucky."

He clearly couldn't ignore the sarcastic note in her voice, but his emotion waves were gone and guarded now.

"I didn't know you were an expert on gifts, Little bird."

He came closer. Raven had a blank face, but she was growling inwardly. Red X's liquid was distracting her concentration. It was blocking her magic circuits, making it risky to use her powers. One wrong move and her powers could backfire, possibly blowing her veins up.

"Say that I _was_ trying to give a gift then, Princess. I would love to hear your suggestion on what I should get. Surely you know everything about that."

His finger touched Raven's jaw, lifting it up. He stared into her eyes as if he was trying to search her. Raven faced the mask and smiled tauntingly.

"Could this be? The notorious Red X asking for relationship advice? I never knew you could be so desperate."  
"I've never heard you speak so highly of me before, Raven."

Even though those times were rare, it wasn't the first time he called her by the name. But somehow this time it sounded so different - possibly because his voice sounded unfamiliarly rough and dangerous. Raven had to play along until this sticky liquid lost its power, or at least until one of the Titans would come to help.

Why were they taking so long? She didn't like the feeling of being dragged down to the ground, or her powers feeling unstable. She made sure to sound bored as she answered. She had to keep Red X engaged.

"Since you're so lost, allow me to help. You should start with a hundred of roses. Or you could shower her with jewels that matches her eyes. Make sure to send her an invitation to a masquerade ball, dance with her for a night and she'll be yours."

She made sure to sound bored. Red X's hand fell. He took a step back.

"..I didn't know you'd be the type to fall for fairytales, Sunshine."  
"Works all the time."

He actually chuckled.

"Well, if you say so, Sweetheart. Now excuse me, I wouldn't want our moment to be ruined by a certain brainless bird."

He clicked on his belt and disappeared. Almost at the same time, Raven heard Robin's furious growl.

"Ambush.. thirty killing robots.."

He managed to mutter angrily under his breath. He walked up to her, taking out a device and freezing the liquid that was holding her. After breaking it to pieces, he checked if she was hurt. Raven shook her head to tell him there was no harm made. She took a deep breath in as her powers started to flow as normal.

"Cy and Beastboy?"  
"They're fine. All worn out though. They're taking care of the people in the building. Where's Starfire?"

She reached into her pocket for the communicator when something odd got caught into her hand. She flinched. Mistaking her reaction, Robin's voice rose.

"What happened? It's that bastard, isn't it? What did he do to her? Did he kidnap her? Raven!"

Ignoring the stinging sense, she took out the cold object that was in her pocket. Both Robin and Raven froze.  
It was a bracelet, the deep clear purple seemed to shine and sparkle on their own in the dark.

Robin knew it was one of the pieces of jewelry that were stolen by Red X.

.

.

* * *

Hey everyone!  
I just wanted to add that English isn't my first language, so there might be some grammar errors or unnatural expressions. I swear I'm trying to make it as natural as possible.  
If anyone's reading this, review/comments would be greatly appreciated haha


	6. Chapter 6

Thanks for the reviews! I'm glad to see I'm not the only one who's in love with Raven, and with the RavenXRobin ship.

And yes, I also happen to have a soft spot for Red X.

* * *

06.

Raven was having the best day of her life.

After hours of pointless interrogation from her lover - or whatever she should call him now - she teleported to Red X's flat. She wanted to ask what the hell he was thinking, but it was empty. She decided to wait for a while until Robin summoned her. She left her tea on the table to make sure X knew she was here.

When she came back to the Tower, Cyborg rushed to her. He was furious.

"That freaking bastard gave you something he stole? And what the fu - What on Earth was he trying to do?"

He at least had the decency of filtering his words, especially since they were in front of Starfire. The Titans decided to limit their cussing to a minimum after the day Starfire used the word _fucking_ to describe how nice the new pizza place was. The fact that she was only trying to fit in and be relatable made their team aware of how easily language could be picked up.

Raven looked at Robin as she raised an eyebrow. Robin wasn't looking at her, his hands crossed and his back slightly turned away. However, he didn't even bother to hide his cold anger.

"I returned it to the rightful owner."

"Rae, I swear if he put even a finger on you, I'm gonna blow him up next time."

Over the years Raven and Cyborg formed a brother-sister relationship. Raven could relate to Cyborg on some level. They were both something they had no choice to be, shunned and isolated from the 'normal' society. Some people would argue that both weren't 'human' enough, and they weren't clueless. They knew how they were seen by many civilians. And yet they both tried to do good. Which was the same for all the Titans.

"You'll have to blow him up then."

Robin's head snapped around as she met his glare. She didn't say anything more. Cyborg was patting his arm -where he hid his newly upgraded sonic boom- rather fondly. He was smiling, but he was muttering several different ways on how he'll deal with the thief under his breath.

"Friend Raven, I am glad you are back here safe! I insist to do the talk of girls with you - we shall come up with a plan to blow up the evil wrong-doing Red X."

The glare from Robin left her; it rested on Starfire's face. Raven knew she would regret it, but she nodded her head. This simple gesture meant yes to hours of one-sided chatting and shopping and being in the crowded mall. But she didn't want his eyes to stay on her. Not like that.

That's when Beastboy walked into the common room.

"Hey Ra-ven?"

He called her in a sing-song voice that meant he was ready to make fun of her. Raven was ready to open a portal back to her room when she saw what was in his hands.

"Looks like you have a secret admirer! I mean, who else would send you a hundred roses? Must've been super desperate though, to send you flowers at this hour. Hey wait, isn't it a bit too late for the mailman to be working?"

The room's temperature dropped, and everyone stared at Beastboy and the huge bouquet of roses he was holding. Red, like the gem on Raven's forehead.

"Oh Raven! How splendid and wonderful! Who might this adorable person be? You haven't told me about any admirer in secrets!"

"Yeah Raven, he or she must've come all the way here to deliver it on their own!"

Unlike the two excited Titans, Cyborg frowned.

"That doesn't make sense, I would've sensed someone coming up to our door. Unless it's someone who can bypass my surveillance system-"

Something must've clicked in the wrong way because Cyborg's face crumpled up. He seemed to be rewinding the record of the camera on the front door. He rushed to the computer room, which meant he had to take a better look. Starfire and Beastboy looked at each other, unsure why he was so upset. Then Beasyboy fished into the bouquet.

"I bet this dude left a card. Found it! _Only a dance at the ball left, Sunshine_. Seriously, this person calls you '_Sunshine_'? What an odd taste of.. _wait_.. that nickname sounds familiar.."

"That FUCKING BASTARD!"

Cyborg's voice thundered from the computer room, and that was when everyone knew who sent the roses.

Like she thought earlier, things couldn't just get any better.


	7. Chapter 7

07

_"When did you fall in love with me?"_

_Nightwing chuckled. His voice shook her heart, it was deep and soothing. His hand was on her waist, both of them lying in bed. His thumb idly made circles on her skin._

"_I'll tell you on our first proper date."_

_Raven frowned. She wasn't so sure what proper dates supposed to look like. Though the team tends to forget, she wasn't really from Earth after all. Growing up under monks in a temple didn't help that much either. Even during her years on Earth her focus was solely on controlling her emotions and surviving, so she didn't have much knowledge on Earth's common norms._

"_And when is that?"_

_Nightwing's lips curved up, creating a mischievous smile. It made him look dangerous in a tempting way, and it always made her heart skip a beat._

_"I was hoping you'd tell me."_

The Tower was filled with laughter. Beastboy and Cyborg were teaching Starfire how to play a new video game, which she was surprisingly good at. Quickly it turned into a competition among the three, laughing and provoking one another.

"No one can beat THIS genius! Call me Beast _Master_ and bow before me!"  
"Not so fast, Beast _Boy_ \- I was going easy on you so you can feel what's it like to be me, a champion!"

Starfire's laugh filled the space again. It sounded like a burst of energy, sunshine and chimes. Raven had a book in her hands, but she had her eyes on her leader. It seemed that he had no idea that he had been staring at her for quite a long time. Raven's eyes fell back to her book.

After Red X's flower prank, the thief has been surprisingly silent until now. No one has heard anything about him for a while, and he wasn't at home either. Nothing happened until now, but things got weird. Robin was avoiding her, and when they were in the same room, he ignored her presence. Just like now.

It was Cyborg and Starfire's idea to spend some time together. The team hasn't really had a get-together in ages. Starfire complained that they needed to make some better memories. Cyborg agreed. They noticed that they haven't really had any fun in a while.

_"Come on, Rae. Just for a day. Just like the old days!"_

So it was Cyborg who came to persuade her. Raven just stood there at her door. Something about what he said seemed to stick to her. There was a soft longing look in her eyes. Cyborg was proud to say he got better at noticing her emotions, so he continued to coax her.

As the team grew older, each spent more time on their own. Beastboy made friends, Starfire went out to see different nearby cities, Cyborg was always in his lab to develop new technology. And Robin.. Raven blocked her emotions. Robin spent most of his time with her.

_Just like the old days_, he said. So that was why Raven dragged herself here. Those words had irresistible magic in them, although in the end, it meant hopelessness.

-I'm so proud of you, Raven. You went to the mall with Starfire last week, listened to Beastboy's jokes yesterday and it's this today. You're so good at torturing yourself!

-Why thank you, Raven. Only the best for you. Now if you'll excuse me, I'll go boil myself in Holy water.

'Shut up,' Raven gritted her teeth. The voices fell silent. Raven sat up to meditate, rather in disbelief that she had to go through this again. She muttered her mantra, and peace started to come.

_"You know why I wanted you to ask me out?"_

_The night Raven finally asked him out on a proper date, Nightwing didn't give her an answer. He asked her that question instead. It was her seventh attempt but the first to succeed without messing her words up. She knew he enjoyed every single moment of it._

_"..Because you're a twisted sadist and you love to see others suffer?" was her honest guess. He laughed hysterically. For some reason, Richard loved it when she called him something relatively bad. Some of his favorites were 'blood thirsty bat', 'spoiled brat' and 'the mad hatter'. He told her he loved it because it loosened it up from his obsession and pressure of being the 'stuck up-conservative hero'._

_"Well, I wanted your attention."  
"Don't I give you enough?"_

_He put his hands on her hips and dragged her close. He growled._

_"No. You drove me out of my mind and tortured me enough, Raven. I still can't forgive you for the time you tried to set me up with Starfire."_

_That was when she had no idea what he thought of her. The bond wasn't strong enough to reveal his feelings, because both of them guarded their emotions fiercely._

_"I guess I'll have to find a way to ask for forgiveness then."_

_He was breathing into her neck as Raven slowly caressed his back. He smiled._

_"Lucky for you, I have a few things in mind."_

"Raven, dude, you alright?"

Beastboy's voice woke her back to Earth. The whole team was looking at her, even Robin.

"What?"  
"I mean look, your cloak was like pink to white to purple.."

Raven looked down. Indeed, her leotard was in purple. Knowing which emotion it meant, she blushed slightly. She inhaled, turning it back to midnight blue. She looked up back again.

"What happened?"  
"I was meditating. Why?"  
"It was like you were sorta in a trance. I mean it was cool though! Everything around you were like, zero gravity. The cups and chairs and everything. For a second you looked like you were from outer space! Since when were you able to do stuff like that? Hey, you know what? We should totally play ball in zero gravity! Like an advanced version of Stank ball!"

Raven smiled weakly. Beastboy was reliable on making things sound less serious and joyful.

"Yeah, perhaps next time."  
"Don't take that back! I'll come up with the rules!"  
"Not on your own, great pea. Hey, pizza is here!"  
"Glorious! Allow me to do the fetching!"

As the teammates were chatting away, Raven's darted to Robin's. He had an odd look on his face. He opened his mouth to say something. Nothing came out. Raven waited, trying to calm her heart down.

"Dude, if you're not coming, we're gonna finish all of it now!"  
"Friend Robin, Raven, do come! It is deliciously warm and nice."

Robin shook his head and turned away. Raven closed her eyes, trying to put her emotions to sleep.


	8. Chapter 8

08

"_Raven, where the eff are you? You suddenly disappeared during pizza.."_

Her communicator rang, and Cyborg squinted to try to figure the place out. Luckily it was dark.

"I had to meditate," was the only answer she could give.

"_Rae, what's wrong? You haven't meditated in years. You alright? You seem a bit.. odd these days."_

Raven gave a long sigh.

"Cyborg, please."

Her voice was sore, and Cyborg could clearly hear that. But he didn't probe. He kept his worried look, but he just nodded.

"Just call me if you need me."

She murmured a small thanks as his face disappeared from the screen. She gave a small sigh.

Surprisingly, she was at Red X's shitty apartment. She desperately needed to get away from everything, and this was the only place she could think of on Earth that didn't have any of Richard's traits. Every single bit of the Tower, including her own room was full of memories of him. Even the bank, the streets, the park, everywhere within range had imprinted him there.

"Yo, Robin. A word?"

Empty boxes were on the table, the other untroubled titans were chatting and laughing. On a set of a new boardgames Beast boy ordered, Robin seemed slightly out of focus. Cyborg walked out of the common room and waited for Robin to follow.

"What's up?"

Cyborg gave him an eyeing look. Robin was trying to play it cool, but the older Cyborg now had no problem looking through that. It was never easy to read Robin, years ago Cyborg often wondered what was going on in his mind. But Robin was thrown back to his late teens, although an adult his body may be. He definitely was no Nightwing anymore.

"What's going on with you and Raven?"

Robin didn't answer. Cyborg waited, but there was no answer. It was clear there was something going on. Cyborg sighed.

"Robin, you're family to me. I know you've had issues ever since Cinderblock, and I can understand that you're confused. But you can't mess with Raven. You're dear to me, but if you ever mess with her, I'mma really beat yo' ass really bad. I'm serious."

Robin, unlike the Nightwing he was, flared up.

"What's that supposed to mean? What did I ever do to her?"

Cyborg looked at him with a hard stern look. He almost forgot that the young Robin used to be hot-blooded although calm and prudent others might think he was.

"I dunno, dude. Maybe it's what you didn't do."

Robin fell silent again.

"I'm just saying so you know. Now if you'll excuse me, I'mma get ready to beat the shit out of a certain little thief."

Cyborg left to his room. When he turned back, Robin stood where he was, not even moving an inch. He only turned his head around-rather instinctively- when he heard a squeal from the common room.

"Raven, you're back! Um.. are you okay?"

"Dude, what happened?"

Raven was indeed back. She was soaking wet as if she was caught in a terrible storm, although the night sky was clear with shining stars.

"Did you go for a swim or something?"

Raven gritted her teeth. The lights flickered in her room, and the furniture was shaking. Beast boy saw a red flash in her eyes. He decided not to go on with the swim-in-the-lake joke he had in mind.

"I'm going to my room."

She walked past her friends, meeting eyes with Robin. He was standing in front of the door to the corridor. He looked surprised and rather concerned. Raven didn't know which she wanted to do first - to run to him and kiss him, or to smack his face and yell at him. She ignored all the noise in her head and heart. She ignored Robin, and went straight to her room. Her lips felt like it was it was burning, the sudden touch of lips wasn't fading away as she wished it would. This one wasn't from her lover. It was from a thief who managed to steal a sneaky kiss from her. She rubbed it off yet again with soap. She'll make sure to choke Red X and put him into a dimension with scarce oxygen next time.


	9. Chapter 9

Hey guys! So excited to see more reviews! It gives me more ideas, and I'm glad people are actually reading this haha.  
I really need to try to finish this though, I never thought it would take more than 8 episodes!

Well, here goes the next chapter!

* * *

09

Red X had to admit, he never really thought about the mage in any good way.

If someone would ever ask him about her, he would've just called her the spooky witch. She was pretty in her own way, but to him, she never stood out. Starfire's radiant beauty was always what caught his eyes first, and Raven, he thought, was outshined by her.

He never knew he'd feel this satisfied to see her come and go his apartment when she needed to be somewhere alone.

Red X was out of town for a few nights. He was on business, but he only took it to be away for a few days. After the roses, he wanted Raven to be wondering and thinking about him. He chuckled because the Raven he knew would probably scowl at the roses and look at it with skeptical eyes. He shook his head at the thought of her eyes lighting up at him. He couldn't really imagine the picture. After all, they really weren't at a good start. But at least they were somewhere because he noticed she visited his empty apartment quite often these days.

"You owe me an explanation, X."

His mood lifted incredibly at the growling voice. Red X was back in his own place, and there she was again. The scent of lavenders. He hid a smile and crooked his head at her.

"Intruding again, princess?"

"I'm not in the mood for your childish bullshit."

Indeed, she looked like she was ready to rip his head off. And Red X knew that she could if she really put her heart into it. But he also knew she would never do such a thing. Strange, with such extraordinary powers, she never used it to its full potential.

In the beginning, she was nothing more than an annoying member from an annoying wanna-be team run by a wanna-be leader to him. He squinted, trying to remember the first impression he had of her. He was more into haunting Robin. Red X still the face Robin had when he first saw him in the suit. The colors drained away, masked eyes clearly in disbelief. The others he really didn't remember. Beast boy was a green blur, Cyborg a tin man. Starfire was the only one who caught his eye that day and Raven? Just a shadow.

Of course, Red X did his research on the whole team carefully. He was an information thief, and getting a little background information on the team wasn't difficult at all. There wasn't much on Raven, and he just kept a mental note 'witch' on her.

Over the years he grew fond of humiliating the team and seeing Bird brain raging out every time he escaped was also one of the thrills he enjoyed. He liked flirting with Starfire, half of it because Robin's eyes would start burning whenever he did. Beast boy was a simpleton, even with his powerful shape-shifting ability, it was easy to outsmart him. Cyborg was a little more difficult, but not to the point where he couldn't handle it. Raven was just the quiet one with tricky powers and little-to-no emotions. He did have an annoying feeling, something told him that she wasn't really giving her best to capture him. Then he brushed it off, thinking that it's probably her personality. Maybe she never tries her best. She's just doing enough to be on the team.

Of course, being himself, he tried to flirt with her a couple of times. The only thing he received was a cold stare. That was no fun, so he just put another note 'party pooper' under her name.

The first shift of thoughts must've been when she first intruded into his apartment.

She was very protective of her leader, and possibly that was when Red X realized that she was like any other. She had emotions and even fell in love. It was so strange to see her in love. It was like seeing Batman smiling and holding a cotton candy in both of his hands.  
She would come by once a while to threaten him whenever he taunted the bat boy too much. That way he learned that she was way more powerful than him, and that's when he started to keep a grip and lay low with her visits. Even until then though, he rather thought of Raven more like that person you never go along well with but must endure.

The day he saw her crying shook him from his very core.

Expressive she was, but she never showed too much of emotions in front of him. He caught her smiling or laughing next to her lover, but never on other occasions. Of course, she never cried.

Seeing her crying was like contradicting his beliefs. Like a strongly built fortress collapsing and being conquered. Or seeing Superman falling because of a bullet.  
The tears were falling from her pale skin. It was like dew on silver pearls. Her eyes were even clearer than ever before, the watery eyes absorbed the dim lights and it was shining.

From that moment, it was like he was under a spell.

Red X knew nothing about relationships or chivalry. He was a thief. This time he was determined to steal something rather different. Probably one last thing he'll steal from Robin. He'll have to take it slow, he knew.

So he kissed her.

Of course, the fire alarm went off, and the water pipes exploded.


	10. Chapter 10

Thanks for all the reviews! Again they give me ideas for the story, so I appreciate them a lot!

One thing about the comment of the comparison of Raven and Starfire - I agree. I really think Raven is beautiful, and I love the way she looks! In the episode when Raven and Starfire's body got swapped, I never really understood when Starfire despaired would she have to look like Raven forever. I just thought Red X would be someone who focuses only on what catches his eyes, which initially would've been Robin's potential lover Starfire.

So here goes another episode:

* * *

10.

Robin was rather uneasy these days. The team knew, because he was always slightly out of focus. Just like now, when he was supposed to order something to eat.

"Um, Robin? Are you not gonna have anything?"

Even Beastboy was concerned. Knowing Beastboy, normally he would seize the chance to order something silly. It was strange. It was like Beastboy matured. Robin shook his head. Of course Beastboy matured, just look at him.

"Is there something bothering you?"

Robin and Beastboy were out to get some food. They sat at a table outside under the warm sunshine to have some drinks. Beastboy dragged him here, to be precise. He nagged that being in the basement for that long isn't healthy. Beastboy nagging. That was different.

"Nothing."

Beastboy gave him a certain look. It felt like an older brother giving his younger brother a 'I know something is going on but I'm just going to let you go on with your bullshit' look. The waiter smiled and said that he'd come back.

"You know, if your thoughts are stuck, maybe you're overthinking? Maybe your brain is like an actual physical box and it's overcrowded with thoughts so everything is stuck. Get it? Once you actually say your concerns to someone, it could sound different, and it gives you space to think of other perspectives because you already took that one out of the box."

So Beastboy did become an adult. Not just him, but everyone in the team were smarter, wiser, more mature. Robin felt a strange burning feeling from the inside of his guts. He was the only one who was still stuck where he was.

"Thanks Beastboy. I'll take it into consideration."

Garfield knew that Robin wouldn't bring the subject up anymore. He took a gulf of his smoothie. He decided to change the topic.

"So. Starfire says you're taking her to the city event?"

The mayor of Jump city announced that the Titans needed a break from fighting crime, and he was planning to throw a huge celebration event. The Titans weren't naive enough to think it was just a party. The new mayor probably wanted to show off that he had good connections to (or good 'control' of) the team, and give the citizens a glimpse of the superheroes' social life so they have something to gossip for a while. The whole event's theme was fairytales and dreams-come-true. Cyborg shook his head when they were informed about it. He said something like 'just because you wrap some shit in fairy-made wrappers doesn't mean the shit becomes magic,' but Beastboy thought the people actually were excited about it. It was tempting to try to put a fairytale filter on their lives. People from the outside tended to think that superheroes' lives were nothing but cool. Starfire was the only one to clap her hands and be delighted at the idea. She has never read a fairytale before, and she was eager to see what it was about.

"Yeah."

Robin nodded, hands on his untouched coffee. The Titans were to participate as a team, but there was supposed to be a dance in the evening. Robin was going to take her there as his partner.

"You know, Starfire thinks you asked her out. Like on a date. She understands our dating ways now, just in case you didn't know."

Robin was silent for a few seconds.

"Yeah. She's not mistaken."

It was Beastboy's turn to fall silent for a while. He managed to find his tongue soon.

"Dude, I actually thought you and Raven had something going on! Heh.. Guess I guessed wrong."

Robin's eyes flicked up at the mention of Raven.

"What? Why would you think that? You know I had a thing for Starfire."

"Uh.. Yeah.. Of course."

Robin almost glared at him. Beastboy wasn't really good at hiding his thoughts.

"What is it? Say it."

Beastboy had to surrender.

"Well I knew you did. When you were, uhh.. Robin. Like during the early years when the Teen Titans got together. But then after Trigon I thought you started to have feelings for Raven. I mean, you went all the way to Hell to save her. Alone."

Robin did hear about the incidents with Trigon. Cyborg and Starfire briefly gave him the history he forgot. But it was the first time to actually think about it. Until now he just assumed that he went for her out of the sense of responsibility as the leader.

"Honestly, I swore you guys had a whole conversation together in your mind or something. Sometimes you'd just look at each other and know what's wrong or something. You were each other's interpreter, like those dog-to-human translating devices, get it?"

He got sidetracked saying that as Beastboy, he wouldn't need any of those. He hastily came back to the topic because Robin was clearly starting to glare at him in the 'don't get sidetracked!' way. He used to give him that look a lot whenever they had action plan meetings.

"Sometimes when you were super grumpy, I'd go to Raven and ask her to tell you what I wanted to tell you!"

He added a laugh at the end. He slurped the last of his smoothie.

"Well, if you guys aren't together, I wonder what Raven would do with Red X?"

"Nothing. He's a criminal."

"I mean, he's not a really bad guy, my animal instincts can tell that much.."

"Red X is an immature, shallow criminal who will end up in jail for the rest of his life. I will be the one to make sure that happens."

Something about Robin's voice was forceful. Beastboy gulped in confusion. He looked around for a change of topic. He added a little timidly,

"Uhm, you're not gonna drink that, are you?"

Robin's coffee was now cold. Beastboy knew Robin rarely left his drinks cold.

Little did Beastboy know, seeing Raven in purple had Robin see illusions. Illusions of a very intimate Raven. A very.. sexual Raven. His min wandered to the day he woke up after the accident, with such a relaxed Raven off-guard, her beauty that shone in the middle of the night... Robin stood up and headed home. Beastboy rushed to catch up with him. The coffee remained cold and untouched.


	11. Chapter 11

11.

Raven was having a very long conversation in her head.

She decided to pay a visit to Nevermore, and it's been quite a while. Entering adulthood, she didn't have a need to separate her emotions to keep them in control. Happiness ran with all her might to squeeze her, crying joyfully to see her. Bravery ran all the way to Happiness's domain to greet her.

"Alright! Let's assemble the others! No one can beat us now!"

"Yay! All the Ravens back together in Nevermore again!"

Raven immediately started to regret her decision. Happiness looked at her with a playful look.

"Hey! What do you mean you're not making a lot of good decisions lately? No way!"

She giggled heartily. It was so full of joy and life, it rivaled Starfire's laughter.

In no time her core emotions came to her. Raven looked around. Knowledge answered the unasked question.

"Lazy and Sloth Ravens aren't here. Well, they are too.."

She didn't say the word.

"Doesn't make a difference. Rage is sulking in the shadows. Happy overpowered her for once."

She added something that sounded like 'that's a first in the past few weeks.' Raven nodded at Knowledge. She still couldn't say anything, and the intellectual part of her knew.

"It's about Richard, isn't it?"

Happiness giggled at his name.

"Something must be done. What do you suggest I do?"

Bravery was the first to answer.

"Go corner him and kiss the hell out of him!"

Raven in purple smiled sneakily and nodded.

"I like that plan."

Bravery frowned back at Raven's frown.

"I mean, why not? Who knows, he might remember something."

"He might not remember what happened, but he might remember the way we kissed, the way he made you sigh, the way you were in -"

"Enough," Raven ruled it out. Lust snapped her eyes away, clearly not happy.

"There must be a way. Maybe in some other books of ancient art, I might be able to.." Raven faltered. The looks of her emoticlons resembled each other for once.

"Raven. We read two hundred and eighty-one books on magic _with_ magic, and you already know there's nothing we can do."

"Unless we can resonate so I can check his soul and restore the memories.."

Raven had that desperate look of hope in her eyes. Knowledge had to admit, Raven was indeed the wearer of blue.

"He broke the bond, Raven. It's impaired and damaged. You can't reform the bond alone. You know he shut it down on his side. And he won't let you in, not anymore."

It was painful to say and painful to hear. Indeed, it was true. The day he woke up, Raven tended to him through their bond. It was Cyborg who asked her to check him through her soul-self. When the bond started to resonate, Richard broke the connection. Completely. She tried again, but he didn't even feel her attempt. She was never able to reach to him again. It was so strange as if a big part of her were cut off. Everyone fell silent. Rage was the only one making growling noises.

"Raven?"

A small and scared voice broke the silence. Timid Raven was in tears.

"Raven, I know I shouldn't say this.. but please.. don't.. don't give up on him."

Timidity was usually the first to give up - if you don't count Laziness and Sloth. Bravery's eyes widened, then she ran to give her a hug.

"That's the spirit!"

Happy came to Raven and held her hands.

"Remember that day, Raven? Remember what he said?"

Of all the precious days with Richard, she knew exactly which day Happiness was referring to. She sighed.

"He said that I was the most hopeful person he has ever seen."

Happiness smiled softly. Raven sighed a little, but she felt a little better.

"Well, I guess I'll have to ask him out again."

The whole crowd cheered. Happiness squeezed her again.

"To the ball! The dance thing at the city hall event!"

"Alright.. I already tried seven times. The eighth is not going to kill me.."

She looked at her emoticlones one at a time as she prepared to go back to reality. Her heart filled up with warm hope. Her eyes rested on Rage. And something about the way it smiled told her, that it had other plans in mind.


	12. Chapter 12

12.

_"Richard?"  
__"Yes, Raven?"_

_They were outside in the park on a walk in the name of a patrol. Raven seemed uncomfortable and nervous. He never saw her like this before, he chose to savor every moment of it. She opened and closed her mouth a few times, but she didn't succeed in saying anything. He suppressed his urge to kiss those delicate lips._

_"So.. how are you these days..?"_

_He saw her flush up. He could imagine, she's probably her telling herself that that was one of the most stupid things she's ever said. And Raven never say stupid things._

_Richard knew Raven was trying to talk to him for a while. She tried a few days ago in the car, and yesterday in the restaurant. Today she tried this morning during their tea and coffee time, during the lunch patrol and on the way to go get pizza. She failed every time. She was frustrated and angry at herself, but since it was flattering Richard that she wanted to talk to him so bad he just couldn't help but push it further._

_"Well, I'm sleeping 5 hours a day, drink black coffee in the mornings and have a regular workout. My blood pressure seems to be normal, my brain is functioning quite well and my body muscle did not fail me, so I guess I'm good? How are_ you _these days?"_

_Well, maybe Raven was right. Maybe he IS a fucking sadist. He couldn't be more curious about what made her come to him like this. Maybe.. He had a thought, an idea, but it was closer to hope. Though he had to chuckle, dispirited. Raven had just come to embrace her emotions. She was learning. He wouldn't expect her to be so open about love._

_She had no idea, thought Richard. She had no idea what he felt whenever he met with her eyes, both the glimpse of the tiny hope and the great darkness inside fascinated him. He was raised by a detective - and he wanted to know more and more of her. He quickly learned the ways of her, how she would glance away for a second when she felt happy or flattered, how she would slowly blink her eyes when she's annoyed, how she would turn her head away so no one can see her blushing. People who called her emotionless were a fool - she just expressed them differently. Especially after Trigon vanished, he proudly watched her discovering the freedom to feel whatever she wants to whatever degree she wants. Her powers were in total control, and he of course never told her how happy he was. Both for her and for himself. Because since now she was free to feel, that meant that she was free to develop her feelings as well. So here he was, hoping and waiting._

_"Alright, screw this. What is it, Raven? I know you wanted to talk to me about something."_

_Seeing her face turning into a light shade of red (that would've been almost impossible to tell if it weren't for his amazing observation skills, he added), he decided to drop the jokes and help her out. She breathed. He waited._

_She is just so adorable._

_"You know, I was wondering.."_

_What would it be like to hold her in his arms? She's much smaller than him now.._

_"If you are interested, and if you're not too busy.."_

_Wait.. is he allowed to actually keep his hopes up?_

_"Would you like to go on a date with Starfire?"_

_"…Huh? Starfire?"_

* * *

It was a rather peaceful morning. Raven was watching the quiet city waking up with the sunrise. Something about this day reminded her of the day the team finally banished Trigon. The appreciation of being alive, the deep stir in her heart of being able to see the city again was a pleasant shock. She would come to this exact spot as often as possible since then. Watching the city she vowed to protect starting a new day became something like her new way of meditation. Richard joined her quite often, and in silence, they would breathe in the bliss of being alive.

"Fancy seeing you up so early."

Richard stood next to her, a cup of coffee in his hands. The way he came up to her was so natural and almost serene as if the past few weeks never existed. Raven kept an emotionless face.

"I could say the same to you."

He smiled.

"I love to watch the sun rising. It's another day given, right?"

If it weren't for him, she would've never understood how it felt. She turned her head back to the city.

"Are you always this cheerful in the morning?"

-Raaaven! You're supposed to ask him out, not make things more complicated!  
-Yeah, playing hard to get is overrated.  
'Shut up, I'm _trying_ to focus,' Raven had to shut the voices down. She never realized how confusing it was to have emotions split apart. It was like having split personalities. It was like she was a teenager again.

"Most of the time." Surprisingly, Richard chuckled. She turned to look at him before thinking. He hasn't smiled at her ever since the accident. "Well, recently I haven't really been able to."

"So.. how are you these days..?" It sounded so stupid, Raven thought about just vanishing into the wall. Richard gave a small laugh.

"Well, my blood pressure seems to be normal, my brain is functioning as usual, and I don't have any hallucinations of Slade anymore, so I guess I'm good? How are _you_ these days?"  
"You sadistic brat," she blurted out. Richard didn't move, taken aback. Then he started to laugh hysterically. Raven just watched him. For a moment his laughter rang inside her like a roar, almost deafening her ears.

'It's just like my Richard. It's just as if he's back.. like he remembers,' thought Raven.  
"That," he laughed, "was the freaking," laugh again, "BEST THING I've ever been called!" Then laughter exploded once more. She watched him as if it were in slow motion. She already knew she loved him. Now she realized just how much she missed him.

The laughter died out, and they had a small chat. It was about nothing and everything, starting from Robin's favorite book to villains and different languages. They talked about whether if the team needs a new member, new tactics and it led to Batman. Raven never felt so alive in a while. She was content, almost happy.

"I'm sorry we were a bit on difficult terms recently. I was really confused about everything. Honestly, I still am," confessed the leader. She looked at him, feeling like the moment she faced another sunrise.

This wasn't like when they were together in love, but it was like when they were best friends. It reminded her so much and felt so much like the months after Trigon, becoming ever closer with such a stronger bond. Even possibly developing feelings for each other.

'For now, it's good enough. We started from here. I can do this again.' Raven told herself firmly.  
"We need to do this more often, God I missed this."

She smiled at that. He has no idea, she thought. He has no idea of how different the meaning and depth were if she were to say she missed him out loud.

"Anyways, I got to go for the morning training routine, catch up with you later, Raven."

But if she couldn't restore his memories, she could at least try to make him fall in love with her again.

.

.

* * *

"Raven, there you are! I must ask you to do the secret talk of the girls!"

Feeling like a cat with a full stomach, Raven patiently followed Starfire to her room. She was caught retreating to her own room, but today Raven didn't mind that much. She was reliving, revisiting and replaying everything Richard said.

"Which do you think is more beautiful, friend Raven?"

Raven looked at the three gorgeous dresses Starfire laid on her bed.. One was red as her hair, one was green like her eyes, one was purple like her costume. The red one was revealing, the green was classy and purple was fancy. She blinked.

"They're all nice, Star."

She sighed.

"That I'm afraid I agree so too. Then which do you think Robin would like better?"

The insides of Raven started to turn cold.

"Why would his opinion matter?"  
"We're going to the dance together, and since you know him most well, I thought I'd.. Raven?"

She felt like the world was very far away, the voice calling her was very distant.

"Raven? Are you alright?"


	13. Chapter 13

Thanks for all the wonderful reviews! They really make my day. And thanks for waiting for my stories!

Chapter 13 was too long, so I decided to split them when I upload it. So now it's two chapters!

.

.

.

.

13.

The Titans were having dinner when the dishes started to rattle. The whole building was trembling. Robin, without thinking much, jumped to his feet.

'Trouble!' was what he thought. He wasn't so sure why something in his head nudged him to go check on Raven. He was ready to rush out to get the villains but he couldn't think of any villain in the city who was capable of this. He looked up to see if the team was ready - but the other three Titans were still in their seats, seemingly reluctant to go out and find the source. He frowned. Cyborg saw it and sighed.

"It's Raven."

Robin's insides turned in a strange way. He recalled a moment of Raven in fear, turning the tower into a horror movie.

"It is strange..Dear friend Raven has not been this upset in many years."

Then they were silent, all three pairs of eyes on Robin. He took a step back.

"…What?"

No one gave him a verbal answer. But Robin knew they were telling him to check on her.

"Why me?"

"Uh.. Cuz you always do..?"

Beastboy's answer took him aback. It was a perfect explanation of why his first instinct was to go check on Raven, but it didn't explain why he was so attentive to her.

"And dude, you're the only one who can calm her down. You guys have that same _dark_ and _serious_ thing going on."

He put stress on the words 'dark' and 'serious' in a jokingly way. Robin agreed with a surprising note of pride. Beastboy's oblivious and playful ways of reactions only irritated Raven, and Starfire's energy was too joyful to let Raven feel understood. His only question was Cyborg. Although he couldn't remember how the two got so close, he knew Cyborg was the only other one who could talk to Raven about feelings. But his eyes were on him rather sternly, as if to remind him of their little talk a few days ago. Robin sighed and made his way to Raven's room.

The moment he punched in the overriding code to open her door was when he realized something was very wrong. It wasn't Raven - at least _yet_, because she was nowhere to be seen. Her room was dark as if it was swallowed by the night. It was only 7 pm, and the sun was still up. The sunlight, however, was completely blocked, and nothing in the room was visible. Robin took a deep breath and stepped into her forbidden room.

"Raven? Are you there?"

The darkness seemed to stir as if it was alive. Robin started to make his way to the bed. For some reason, he knew that she'd be curled up hugging her knees in the corner of her bed. He tried to reach out to the bond they had to see if she was safe. There was nothing. Robin stopped dead in his tracks. Where did the bond go? He couldn't feel anything. Not a single emotion or a sense of existence from the other side… Was it always this empty?

_"..Richard.."_

There was a soft whisper, so faint that it was almost like the sound of the wind. He looked up, immediately meeting a pair of dazzling purple eyes from the direction of her bed. They were so clear but unfocused and empty.

"Raven?"

The eyes started to come alive, drawing him in.

"..Richard!"

She ran to him and hugged him. He froze. He wasn't sure who she was.

"You came! I missed you SO much! You came! You remembered!"

"…Happy?"

Robin wasn't sure why he said that. He remembered Cyborg and Beastboy telling him briefly about Raven's emoticlons. He never met any of them, but he knew he was right when she giggled.

"Yup! I sneaked out when I heard your voice because I had to see you! I mean, we can't see anything right now, but I can still hug you, right?"

"Uh… What's going on? Where's Raven?"

"Oh, she's uh.. She's in a trance…? She was going dark and we wanted to stop her but we couldn't win and Rage started to take over so they started to battle and uh.. that's how I sneaked out!"

"..And why is it so dark in this room?"

"It's Raven! All of this is her powers leaking and protecting the tower from exploding!"

She added 'Unconsciously! Isn't that amazing?' with another giggle. Robin was confused as hell and Happy Raven wasn't really helping him to clear his head. Cyborg said that there were others, so he decided to give the idea a try.

"Happy? Can you get someone who can explain everything in details?"

"Sure love! Anything for you!"

He felt a soft plump kiss on his cheek. Raven was silent for a second, then her hands fell from his shoulders. She took a step back. He didn't have time to ponder why it felt so natural for them to rest there.

"Raven's busy. Her emotions started to split, and Rage is overpowering all of us right now. I'm Knowledge by the way."

He wasn't sure if he had to say hi. He did, but the knew Raven didn't answer him. So he went on.

"What do you mean, her emotions split? Weren't you always like that?"

He could see the eyes of Knowledge searching him. They were still Raven's.. but different. Something was gone, a light was missing..

"We were split for easier control. It's simpler to control one emotion at a time when we are mere fractions in her head. She learned to be more balanced over the past years. You helped her with that, remember?"

He knew she already knew he didn't remember. There was a ring of bitterness in her tone.

"If Raven fails to put Rage in its cage, it's going to be the devil you'll face next time. And I mean it quite literally."

She turned her back to him, heading back to the bed. He tried to reach her but he couldn't hold her. She faced him again, with a crooked smile.

"How do you like Raven's room?"

It was so casual in a 'oh by the way' kind of voice. Was it some kind of trick question?

"Uh, I'm not sure. I've never been in here before, and it's too dark to see anything anyways.."

"Oh, of course. Strange, I wonder how you navigated yourself so well if this was the first time in her room?"

The sarcastic tone in her voice sounded oddly sad and painful. For a second Robin thought she was screaming for help instead.

But wait... How did he know she curling up in bed? How did he even know which direction her bed was?

"Well, Raven's back. Hopefully, she'll 'explain' better than I do."

He couldn't even say 'wait'. The eyes closed shut. The darkness started to lift. It was still dark, but it was enough to see the traces of exhaustion on her face. Then the familiar eyes came back looking into him.

"..What are you doing here? This is _my_ room."


	14. Chapter 14

14.

"..What are you doing here? This is _my_ room."

There was a strange pounding in his ears. Raven looked terribly tired as if she was in battle and retreated wounded. But her face looked so serene in the half-lightened darkness, so elegant and calm as if it didn't affect her.

"Sorry, I just.."

He found himself at loss of words which rarely happened. Raven sighed and turned around. The other side of the room was in a huge mess. She started to put everything back in place with her powers.

"I met Happy and Knowledge."

Raven made a _tsk_ sound. It seemed that she already knew that, and she was clearly displeased of her emoticlones taking over her body. Robin didn't know what to say.

"They seem to know something I …"

"Robin," she interrupted. He fell silent immediately.

"Is it true that you're taking Starfire to the dance?"

"Yes..?"

"As a date?"

"Yeah.. why ask?"

The more he nodded the more uncomfortable he felt. He couldn't see Raven's face and he couldn't feel anything. He decided to ask her about that.

"Hey, what happened to our bond? Did you discard it or something?"

Raven's head didn't turn. Her voice sounded almost cold when she replied.

"What bond?"

"The bond that we shared.."

"I didn't know you cherished it," she spat out.

"It helped me understand you, and it got us closer... Or was it just me being stupid?"

She did turn around at that. He still couldn't read her emotions. This wasn't the Raven he was used to, she was even more guarded than when they were teens.

"Oh. Then I guess you're done figuring me out because you're the one who broke it."

"Huh? I did? When? _Why_?"

"You tell me, _Nightwing_. I would surely like to know."

"Raven, I can't remember. Whatever _Nightwing_ did wasn't me. I have nothing to do with it. You have to know that to me, none of that ever happened."

Her lips were shut tight. She looked like she was having a war inside of her. Her eyes almost flashed red.

"So you're saying.. that all those years are some kind of fantasy I created in my head because you don't remember?"

Her voice was so quiet but broke, it made hissing sounds.

"No, Raven, that's not what I mean. But look, I'm the Robin who was obsessed with tracking Slade down a few months ago. I have no idea what happened! They never happened to me, at least not yet. And now people are driving me crazy for the things I've never done!"

Something in Raven's head snapped. She rushed to her love, grabbed him and kissed him. Her emotions radiated like heat, her hands clinging on tight. Her lips softly caressed his coaxingly, but he didn't kiss back.

'Please,' Raven almost prayed. 'Remember me. Please..'

It was just a few seconds, but she put all of her emotions into it. She called to her powers and her soul gently nudged his. Her soul-self took a step into him, trying to repair the bond. She'll be able to recover his memories once the bond was fixed. She mustered all the love she had for him to create a warm safe zone. The moment she touched his soul, he shivered and pushed her away.

"What the..?"

The enchantment broke midway, her magic backfiring back into her. Her body started to shake, and she could feel her soul withering, parts of it broken and shattered as it came back to its place. Robin was surprised, angry and confused, his emotions were trying to swallow her. She managed to utter a word out loud.

"Richard.."

He flinched at his real name.

"Richard.. I can recover your memories.. if you'd just let me."

"No. I.. This isn't.."

He never finished his sentence. He left her room without another word. His emotions were exploding everywhere, growing stronger by the minute. Raven dropped to the ground. As she was about to pass out, she saw two pairs of red eyes gleaming down at her.


	15. Chapter 15

15.

"Why Raven. Looking for me?"

Red X hid his proud smirk as he found Raven in his apartment yet again. She didn't turn around. She was looking out the window. Something about her felt different in a dangerous way. Red X smacked his lips, feeling hungry. He took a few steps closer to her.

"Bird brain again?"

She hummed. He saw the side of her face looking down on Earth. She turned her head and their eyes met. She looked like she was in pain. But the moment he blinked, her eyes flashed, then they were empty. She turned her head back to the sunset. He took a step closer to her.

"I have waited for this moment."

Her voice was raspier, in a whisper, but so clear and shrill, it was menacing. It gave him chills. She didn't seem like Raven at all.

"Sunshine?"

The end of her lips curled slightly.

"What a beautiful day."

Red X was wondering if he needed to tell her that the day practically almost ended. _Or maybe for Raven the day starts as the sun sets,_ guessed Red X randomly. Normally he would smirk and comment something either sarcastic or flirty to that, but as Raven seemed unlike herself today, Red X decided to shut it and wait to see what all this was about. But then, Raven turned to him again, her velvet-like purple hair tickling her cheeks as her head tilted. Her eyes were red with fire, her smile so warm and wide as if she has never been so happy before. Call him crazy, but despite the smile and twinkling (burning) eyes, it felt so cold it made him shiver.

"The perfect day to end this world, don't you think?"

Call him crazy, but that was the most beautiful psychotic thing he has ever seen in his whole life.

* * *

Every day was a glorious day to Starfire. She loved this planet, she loved being a warrior on Earth and she especially loved every member of her team. She couldn't think of any other better people to be around with, and although quite strange their customs were, she was eager to get used to it. She also loved having small chats with the people in the city.

People she met always asked her if something was going on between her and Robin. Citizens on the street, the pizza guy, even reporters would always shoot her the same question. At first, she wasn't quite sure was that meant. What's it supposed to mean, _something to go on_ between two people? Like a video game that goes on and off? She wasn't so sure.

As she entered her adulthood she noticed herself sometimes fantasizing of getting out of her routine. To be somewhere new, meet someone in the Earthly ways, 'romantic' they would call it, just like the strange and fascinating movies. As she first confessed to her most different but closest friend Raven, she expected an indifferent comment of how pointless her fantasy was. Unlike her expectation, Raven looked at her in a thoughtful way. It was her who suggested going beyond the cozy small Jump City to see new things. Also being from a different planet (or rather, dimension), Raven understood how small the world could feel for people like them who could travel through different planets. So taking her advice, Starfire started to explore and venture around this planet she now called her second home. Love never ended up perfectly, but she was always optimistic (a word Raven called her, which she liked very much) and kept dreaming.

It took her years to understand how it goes on this particular planet, and in the meanwhile, her new friends would bluntly tell her that her leader clearly had a 'crush' on her. 'Crush' as in crushing walnuts and the enemy's skull? She would always laugh and say that's impossible, for Robin would never 'crush' her. Even if he somehow would want to, just like when he became an apprentice for Slade, he would never be able to 'crush' her. Most Earthlings did not have the physical abilities of her people.

By the time she started to understand what this 'crush' meant, Robin seemed to have lost this certain 'crush' he had put on her. It seemed like as her leader outgrew his old self, he outgrew his crush altogether. Her disappointment did not last a day though, for she was only mildly surprised and glad that she has understood what 'having a crush' meant now, so perhaps next time it happens she will recognize it.

She wasn't particularly expecting her leader, who was now a full-grown man called Nightwing insisting to be called Robin again, to regrow his 'crush' on her again. How strange it was, how he would stare at her or take glimpses of her whenever he could. How even stranger it was, for him to think that she will never did she not know of this all those years ago? The strangest thing was that he sometimes was not able to process his words when he was in front of her. But it flattered her, and when they were together it reminded her of when she first came to Earth, the early days of their team when they were called the 'Teen' Titans. She excitedly dressed for the party, heading to Raven's room first. She knew Raven would not even bother to go through all the steps of 'getting ready for a party', and Starfire was determined to have one of those movie moments of dress over with her sisterly friend. Raven did not answer her knock and her coaxing persuasion 'Oh Raven! I have brought many of variations of colorful decorations for you. I promise it will be perceivably fun!'.

As she didn't answer for quite a time, Starfire gave up, telling her that she'd see her at the ball. And at the ball she did, but rather not the way she expected.

* * *

Sorry, I'm late! I am still trying to decide how to end the story, so that's why the story is getting dragged on..


	16. Chapter 16

16.

"Uh, guys? Raven's here."

Cyborg was the first to respond as Beastboy walked over to their table. The Titans were having a stressful day. The mayor prepared a 'casual' meeting with too many people, from important political figures, famous celebrities and fans. He even organized a special fan meeting where the fans were allowed to ask any sort of question. The problem was, they didn't care to filter the questions, so it grew more and more personal over time. The mayor only laughed out loud when a fan wanted to know whether if Cyborg and Nightwing (they decided to go on with that name in public) were willing to have a threesome with her tonight. It was only when Starfire asked innocently what that was, the mayor decided it was enough. They had an hour's break, then dinner was served. Raven did not appear until it was time to dance.

"Is she alright? What happened?"

Cyborg had a feeling that she was mentally hurt. He's been eyeing Robin all day, and he seemed incredibly uncomfortable. Cyborg knew his leader's fake smile all too well, and Robin has been wearing that smile ever since he woke up this day. So Cyborg was certain that it was something Robin did, and he was just waiting for the right moment (and evidence) to beat the shit out of his younger brother. Wait, what he meant was, his leader.

"Uhm.. She… looks okay.. but not like, okay, but 'okay' as in healthy and uninjured but not okay as in I don't know what's gotten into her? She's Raven and she's not Raven at the same time?"

"The fuck, Garfield. Are you high? Do I need to beat yo ass too?"

Beastboy didn't want to know who else he meant when he said 'your ass _too_', so he waved his hands trying to defend himself.

"Dude, no! Ugh, just come and see for yourself."

The team stood up and followed Beastboy to the center of the party. As Beastboy pointed to Raven's location, Starfire gave out a gasp.

Raven was wearing a dress as red as blood, her hair decorated with roses made out of fire. Raven smiled when their eyes met. The smile wasn't like her, something felt very dangerous and yet so seductive. She walked over, her graceful steps turned into a feline in hunt. Something radiated from Raven, something about her presence chilled the air temperature near them, despite all the fire Raven was wearing. For the first time in her life, Starfire's instincts were measuring up Raven's powers, and it whispered to her that she might have to fight her dear friend, and she would have to give all she's got if she wanted to survive. Her hand found Robin's, and she grasped the cold hands. They were shaking slightly. Raven's lips curled up. Her eyes were calm as usual, but for some reason, Starfire thought they could've been red.

"Why, there you are. I almost died waiting for you."

Her voice was different. It was full of authority, but it sounded bored. A red light was flashing in Cyborg's head, but he wasn't so sure why. It was so strange seeing Raven in red, the last time he saw her in red was… Cyborg re-ran his memories. Seeing her in red felt like a very bad omen. Beastboy was the one to answer her.

"Where were you? You missed all the boring talk and amazing free food!"

"I was merely savoring the taste of freedom."

Her eyes met Robin's. She smiled rather fondly, but it was cruel. Robin knew he had to say something. He had to do something. Something very bad must've happened after last night, and Knowledge's voice suddenly rang in his ears: it's going to be the devil you'll face next time...

This wasn't Raven, this was something else, it was none of the emoticlones he has met before. He finally found his voice.

"Raven.. We need to talk."

Raven didn't say anything, the cold smile seeming to enjoy this moment. Starfire's hand grasped on to his tighter. Robin didn't have time to analyze whether it was encouragement or a warning.

"Raven, please."

That's when another voice, a familiar voice, cut in.

"What a sight, Birdie. Who would've thought that Boy Lover would beg for attention?"

He was wearing a different mask that was rather toned down, and a suit fit for parties instead of the super suit he stole. But Robin would recognize him and that sarcasm anywhere. How he was able to come to this party with that mask on was another thing. But the way he brought Raven a drink was something he couldn't stand.

Red X was at the party, and it seemed like he was Raven's date.

* * *

When Raven woke up, she knew where she was. It only made things worse.

"Hello?"

She called out, but she didn't expect an answer. She forced herself up. Loud rattling noises struck her ears. She looked down. Chains. She looked up. Bars. They seemed to be made out of red lightning. She sighed.

"Great. Rage's cage. Exactly where I always wanted to be."

As her enchantment backfired, Raven was shaken. Her soul needed time to heal (more than just time to heal) and Rage succeeded in taking over. She's been fighting ever since, but the last strike did not end well, and here she was.

She added bitterly to herself that when she said she wished she'd disappear to a place where no one could annoy her, she didn't mean to literally disappear to a place where no one could even reach her. Not even her emoticlones seem to hear her, they are probably locked into their domains. Either that, or they are happily working for Rage. She gave out another sigh.

"Let's see. The portal to my mind is in my room under thirty old books that I've piled up. The bond that I had with Robin is damaged. We don't have any other superhero nearby with the abilities to enter my mind. How thrilling my life could get."

Raven felt like she should be grateful that the world wasn't in flames yet. How Rage is able to be so patience, she had no idea. It seemed like over the years her Rage matured. It only made Raven more anxious, because now she had no clue what to expect. Should she be proud that her most destructive emotion grew to have cold intelligence?

That's when Raven heard someone sniveling.

"…Timidity?"

"The world is over now.. I'm so sorry…"

The Raven in grey sniffed. She was about to cry. Raven really did not want to swim in her emotion's tears, so she tried to sound a little nicer.

"…What are you doing here?"

It did not work.

"Rage, sniff, put me here, sniff… She said I was useless.. AND SHE'S RIGHT!"

A sudden headache made Raven flinch.

"..And the others?"

She had to wait a while.

"Rage took most of them.. B, Bravery is, hicc, locked up in her domain, hicc! Lust fo, followed Rage voluntarily.. Hicc!"

'Think, Raven. I need my body back. There must be something I can do.' But the hiccuping and wailing of her clone worsened her headache by each second. The constant 'I'm so sooorryyyy…' was not pleasant to hear. Raven shut her eyes.

"Timidity.." Her voice came out as a growl. She opened her eyes to glare at the grey Raven, but she wasn't there. Raven looked down.

"Sorry.." Squeaked the shrunk mini emoticlone. An idea stuck Raven.

"Timidity. There's something I need you to do."

"I can't do it!"

"Would you rather sit and watch the world burn down by hellfire?"

"B, b, but…"

"Listening to the screams of our friends in despair?"

"Of c, course not, but…"

"Are we going to allow Rage tear Richard into pieces?"

Timid Raven started hiccuping again. She shut her eyes in defeat.

"Okay, I'll do it.. Just don't hate me if I fail."


End file.
